This is my 100th posting here. I've come a long way since I started this blog. A lot happened, many good and a few sad moments as well... but I feel lucky that you read my postings, commented (whether here, facebook oder in real life) and shared so much moments with me!
Thanks to all of you! ♥
I felt really bad the last couple of months. I already told you about diseases in my family, own health problems, people that weren't that trustworthy as I thought, ....
But I am feeling better now. Slowly but nevertheless.
I decided a few things for me, changed me and myself little by little everyday. Tried to find out what's really "me" and live for it.
I cut a few people out of my life because I recognized the contact didn't give me anything positive. I had a hard time making that decision because there were people that I once really liked and some part of me never gave up hope that this friendship could be revived. But in the end I recognized that this would not come true because of certain circumstances. So I let it go.
In order to live on I had to let it got. That's one thing I learned in the past year.
And I finally understood that going to school again isn't my cup of tea. I don't need the A-Level Exams for my future. And it isn't quite as fun as I imagined it to be (i imagined something kinda like a school-dorama xD okay, actually I was bored with my former life that's why I applied -_- (I guess Ishould stop deciding my future because I am bored V_V)). And I'm tired of forcing myself into something because it seems to be "the right way" or just "the logical way" (or because parents think of that at least). Who decides that anyway? I'm satisfied with trying out this way of life as a pupil, I made my experiences, learned a lot about myself and got to know who real friends are. But that's it. Life has to go on.
Out of this experiences I learned about myself, what I really want to do with my life, who I really want to be.
There's a big bunch of work ahead, and future surely won't become easier, but
it feels great to finally move forward again. Worst thing is standing still.
